Addicted to Dysfunction!

Image  ImageImage Many relationships thrive off of fiery emotion, impulse and passion. Add drugs, violence, lies, deceit and or selfishness to the equation and there you have a recipe for disaster! For years we remain in dysfunctional relationships that are hidden treasures to our blinded hearts until there demise. Sure there have been signs along the way, but they are ignored for fear of loss of the familiar. Fear in itself is a distorted view of reality which convinces the fearful, that it is an inevitable happening. This too is a form of dysfunction.  Looking DEEPER:  In the picture above to the right, one woman decides to share her supply of pills with her sister friend. Why share something that can be as detrimental as driving a car into a brick wall? Oh, in her mind she is sharing a bit of her own happiness with a person she “thinks” she loves dearly. Drink in hand coupled with pills jolts her friend into a euphoria she has never known before. However, this is only an illusion. Once the high wears off, reality will hit again and her sister friend will need more to keep her in the darkness. Her addiction to this friendship will lead her down a path few ever return from. The picture in the middle is one of a man who takes out his uncontrollable urge for domination on the woman he says he loves on a daily bases. She stays; addicted to his scent, his essence, his presence simply afraid to be alone. She convinces herself that this is the last time he will raise his hand to her. She thinks he loves her too deeply to ever hurt her again! His love is so intoxicating that she goes back time and time again.  The last photo is one of a couple enthralled in a passionate screaming match! Down to their bare skin they hold on with hatred in their eyes and sex on their mind. Who wants to live like this? To the natural eye this relationship is completely absurd, though you would be surprised how many of us are in this type of relationship right now. I must admit that my “need to be needed” personality has carried me to the door step of many dysfunctional relationships (friendships, family relationships and working relationships). This is changing the more I sit and self-reflect. I evaluate what role I have played in each relationship noting that I am the only constant in every equation. Comfortable being the “super she-ro” at the end of every story nearly emptied out my measure of faith. Although, running to the feet of the Master completely naked, stripped of all my cover ups, I realized that my short comings were purpose-filled moments of testimony for God’s glory. I have been to my spiritual twelve step program and I never want to attract dysfunction again. I will be a better me, you’ll see!


Strip yourself and start new

New love, new life, new thoughts that’s right…strip yourself of everything you previously knew about love. Love didn’t start between the sheets or over the phone, love started with a glance over an ice cream cone. Love didn’t start over a picture in a magazine it started from the moment you contemplated the ring. How much do we really know about this thing called love?

Love takes on many shapes and sizes, its broad, wide long and deep…love for many can be a treat. However, when you look at love and start to compare the last of your lovers you come up bare…love does not make comparisons it refuses to reflect on where it’s been to give the new love a chance to happen. Excuse my thoughts as I ramble on, I feel as though I’m writing a song. Now strip yourself and let’s move on.

I have watched many relationships crash and nearly burn playing the comparison game the other never really learns…learns how to caress, stroke, embrace or accept what is reality now and how much depth- is wrapped inside the new relationship. Strip yourself I said, for you can not compare the one who now dwells in your bed. Many of us need to purge our perception of affection. What does a soft kiss on the cheek do for you, a meal when your weary and feeling blue? What is a hug compared to a squeeze it’s like the difference between a cough and a sneeze. Love is just like apple pie you must cut it in order to get the good inside.