Addicted to Dysfunction!

Image  ImageImage Many relationships thrive off of fiery emotion, impulse and passion. Add drugs, violence, lies, deceit and or selfishness to the equation and there you have a recipe for disaster! For years we remain in dysfunctional relationships that are hidden treasures to our blinded hearts until there demise. Sure there have been signs along the way, but they are ignored for fear of loss of the familiar. Fear in itself is a distorted view of reality which convinces the fearful, that it is an inevitable happening. This too is a form of dysfunction.  Looking DEEPER:  In the picture above to the right, one woman decides to share her supply of pills with her sister friend. Why share something that can be as detrimental as driving a car into a brick wall? Oh, in her mind she is sharing a bit of her own happiness with a person she “thinks” she loves dearly. Drink in hand coupled with pills jolts her friend into a euphoria she has never known before. However, this is only an illusion. Once the high wears off, reality will hit again and her sister friend will need more to keep her in the darkness. Her addiction to this friendship will lead her down a path few ever return from. The picture in the middle is one of a man who takes out his uncontrollable urge for domination on the woman he says he loves on a daily bases. She stays; addicted to his scent, his essence, his presence simply afraid to be alone. She convinces herself that this is the last time he will raise his hand to her. She thinks he loves her too deeply to ever hurt her again! His love is so intoxicating that she goes back time and time again.  The last photo is one of a couple enthralled in a passionate screaming match! Down to their bare skin they hold on with hatred in their eyes and sex on their mind. Who wants to live like this? To the natural eye this relationship is completely absurd, though you would be surprised how many of us are in this type of relationship right now. I must admit that my “need to be needed” personality has carried me to the door step of many dysfunctional relationships (friendships, family relationships and working relationships). This is changing the more I sit and self-reflect. I evaluate what role I have played in each relationship noting that I am the only constant in every equation. Comfortable being the “super she-ro” at the end of every story nearly emptied out my measure of faith. Although, running to the feet of the Master completely naked, stripped of all my cover ups, I realized that my short comings were purpose-filled moments of testimony for God’s glory. I have been to my spiritual twelve step program and I never want to attract dysfunction again. I will be a better me, you’ll see!

Trusting your partner

DON’T! What do you mean don’t? Don’t trust your partner, trust your God. Only the Lord can offer guidance to your spouse in the way you need it. Your God knows everything about you. He is concerned about the smallest things that concern you. He does not want you to fret over life’s emotional insecurities. He wants you to know that He’s got you. When you are not around, He is always there. You cannot control your spouse nor anything that they do. The person you love the most may hurt you, are you prepared to love them after the pain. If you are not and you are only engaged, don’t get married! If you are married and not prepared to love in this manner, be reminded by the Holy Spirit how you have been loved by your savior when you were undeserving.

Having a memory of my own faults has kept me from holding my partner hostage to his past failures. We all have a past. The beautiful thing about love is that it helps you leave things in the past and try to move forward with a clean slate. Ok he/she cheated on you where do you go from here? Is your relationship worth salvaging? Can you work to trust him or her again? Have you lived more good days than bad together? Have you fought a common enemy together to accomplish a unified goal? If you have, than you can get past this. She has lied to your face on many occasions what will it take for her to gain your trust?

What a manipulative spirit he has, and I’m tired of it? Sound like your relationship? What do you do when you don’t know what to do? Stand still! Pray, and bust the devil upside the head with the word of God. Let the Word do the work. It will change, if we can only hold out! Get you some real good in the corner on your knees prayer and snottin’ partners they will carry you when you can no longer carry yourself. Trusting your partner can be a monster, a mess or a ministry. Take your pick!