I remember so vividly the silly grin on the face of each teenager that took me in…into the room and shut the door as his mother laid sleep in the living room, and I lay panty less on a nasty bedroom floor. He played with my soft places until I my innocent body began to react, and feel only things a woman should which made me long to come back. My mother would ask me time and again if anyone ever touched me, she used the word in appropriately so I responded no ‘cause I felt lucky. How was I supposed to know that the games they took turns playing with me were gross and really awful?
All at once my innocence quickly seemed to escape; when I realized what they were doing to me some would consider rape. When the sister finally came home to spend time with me as she had always promised my mom, she noticed I was headed to her brother’s room and wondered why I sobbed. She asked me why I was going there and I said I always do, she waved her fist, yelling at one brother and said this mess is through. So all the times you asked for me, were you looking the other way, while the brothers you knew were sick spent special time with me each day? Or did the encounter you had with me as you saw me passing by, the very room of your dearest sibling with the look of fresh meat in his eyes?
Seventeen years later, I saw him and the memories came flooding back. Things I had not thought about since that terrible day. Then I found myself whispering, “I forgive you, if not for you for me”. By the time I made through the checkout line I felt totally free. The evil things you did to my body would no longer take its course; because my heart has been penetrated I can cancel the yoke of divorce. Sure the first one that I tried it failed and I was shame, but this marriage I’m in now is sealed in JESUS’ name!