“No” is a powerful word. It is a word that connotes Stop! Do not continue! You cannot move beyond this point! Many times when the word is used it is abrupt and has negative emotions tied to it for the person on the receiving end. Your spouse is not a child although, they may need to hear no when the next step they take can be detrimental to your family or your relationship. Consider the words “not right now” or “is there another way”. For example, “honey I want to buy some new heels”. If you tell her no, she might go into defense mode expressing how grown she is and that she really does not need your permission. However, if you say, right now may not be the best time because we have to cover this or that bill and if you wait you maybe able to buy 2 pair. I believe this will work better. She will have options to consider. When you are fighting for a healthier relationship you must consider the feelings of the one you are with. Respect is a pillar in every relationship. Words have power use them wisely!